Incubator Success!

Guess what??!! The antique incubator I got from a dance family has so far today produced 3 baby chicks and # 4 is busy chipping his way out. I started with 48 eggs. I have lost 8 for various reasons. That leaves 40. Even if only 10 hatch this first time I will be very elated. This is my maiden voyage and it takes some skill to get 90-95% hatchability.
So even in the depth of my paperwork and stress hell I have something to be tickled about. They are pretty adorable.
Now what to do with them while they grow up big enough to go outside. I think I'll have to rig up something in the basement so they will survive the extra cold until they are all grown up-spring.

Out to Lunch!

I am in a really rotten mood. I have a husband who does NOT understand:
1. That he needs to do his share regarding finishing up his parents' affairs
2. If he is going to not participate in the paperwork stuff, then he could help out with other stuff and not pressure me to rescue him and take care of him constantly.

It is obvious I have a major attitude problem so I will refrain from posting until I get my act together.

Happy Life!

I have a pretty good life. Yesterday my girls (horses) started a new regime for the winter. They are doing so well at listening and behaving. It just makes your heart melt when things go so well.
I have 2 chicks and their mother living in my laundry room. The incubator is doing well.
I am really enjoying getting to know my life again!
The Munsters is a hilarious sitcom. As a kid, I always liked the Addams family better, but I gotta tell you, the humor on the Munsters is really wicked.
My house is filling up with costumes as is usual for show season and I LOVE IT!!!!!
Tomorrow I will actually be able to keep my phone commitment to Rakieta.
Yes, life is very good.

Adele Antonette Kalinowski

Adele Antonette Kalinowski, age 84 of Imlay City, Mi, passed on to be with her husband and other family members who passed before her on November 11, 2009.
Adele was born February 22, 1925 in Buffalo, New York to John and Sophia Biegajski. She was the 4th of 5 children. She graduated high school and married her high school sweetheart Leo on Thanksgiving Day of 1945.
She and Leo lived in Detroit until 1964, then lived in Warren until 1986. Their retirement years were spent between Baker’s Acres in Zephyr Hills, Fla and Rose Lake Forest in Leroy, Mi. They moved to Imlay City in 2006 to be close to their son, Matthew and his family.
Adele was a homemaker with an eye for detail. She loved painting and crafting and in her later years loved Bingo.
Adele is survived by her son Matthew, his wife Cyndy, and her 2 granddaughters, Merry and Jeni.
It was a difficult journey to the end for Adele and while she will be missed, she is now in a much better place. We love you Grandma!

Life in Ouaga

I haven't been reporting on our African kids much because I have been too darn busy being a nurse maid to even call. Today however, I was able to have a really long talk with Rakieta.
It seems the time has come that Rakieta MUST have a sewing machine of her own. So, we are taking a short break from paying for her new prosthetic to getting her machine. It will look about like this.
This whole sewing school thing has become very stressful. Being the quick witted young lady she is and having been outside the country and experiencing something other than the African way or the French way (I am not sure which is worse) Rakieta has been wailing and gnashing her teeth for quite a while over the fact that she doesn't think her school is doing the job right. She watched me sew, she has obviously been paying attention to the seamstresses in her neighborhood and she is painfully aware that she is not up to speed or skill.
So the lamenting has been pretty loud for quite a while. Perhaps this is part of the reason she has the blood in her mouth in the morning. Between grinding her teeth to the nubs and the ulcer she has probably developed, that pretty much explains the medical issue.
Anyway, the school seems to be solving the problem for her. They have explained that she must purchase a sewing machine.
The problem all goes back to the lady who she lives with. The lady is very good hearted. In fact, she developed the school. However, she also is very lax and is a huge procrastinator.
It is pretty bad when the head mistress of the school tells Rakieta that if she wasn't living with Marie, they would have expelled her for tardiness and absenteism. That was the last big problem. We solved it, but it required a ton of scheming about how to quit using Marie for transportation and just start using the green taxi.
Looks the solution this time is simple. I send the money, Marie picks up the machine and Rakieta can become a sewing fool. Sounds like a great plan to me!

Nice Sunday

It is after 3:00pm on Fall Back Sunday. I am very grateful they have changed the date for this to later in the Fall. I hate the early evenings from now until winter solstice. I always feel like I get sleepy too early.
At this point, Grandma is sleeping most of the time. It won't be long. Even though she is still not helping the process. The nights are getting easier and so are the days so the family is beginning to adjust to our new reality.
While I am absolutely chomping at the bit to first of all, be able to leave the house and then not worry about how long I am gone, I know that shortly I will be as free as Lee and Adele. Well, actually not, but you can bet I will appreciate it as much!
The temps outside are very mild and pleasant for the 1st of November. It is in the 50's, no wind, and partly sunny. It is the perfect riding day. I canceled today though due to the circumstances.
However, my laundry is done. It is the first time in months I wasn't scrambling to keep up. I put a roast in the oven. Matt is peacefully sleeping on the couch. I was able to call Rakieta. Things are good.
It is good to go through adversity. It ALWAYS makes you appreciate the small things in life.

Rainy Friday Morning

This morning is soggy. I think Jeni forgot to put Copper, the horse, in so it is good that it is not too cold out. It may not be pleasant to be wet, but she should survive just fine.
Grandma was up very early this morning and wanted to use the bathroom. So after taking care of business and putting her back to bed I sent the midnight shift back to bed. (Matt and Merry)
I woke up comfortably and peacefully in the lazyboy watching TV. It was nice.
Slowly during these past few days I am starting to adjust to the fact that very soon I will no longer have all the pressure and responsibility I have carried for the last year and a half. At first I was just looking forward to the relief. I still am, but I am also beginning to really feel and understand how different it will be.
Will I be lost? No. We already miss Lee and his trolling and patrolling around here, but Adele is a little different. The disease has really taken it's toll on her and the good days with her were many years ago.
When someone dies in decline and late in life, you have plenty of time to work through things and make peace with their death.
They were both very loved and will be missed, but passing on sets them free.
No, I will not be lost.

The End is in Sight

Today didn't start out so well for Grandma. She woke up and was unable to assist herself in transporting to the wheelchair and then on to the bathroom. Consequently she ended up having to consciously go to the bathroom in her Depend. I was doing the banking when all this happened. Consequently she was pretty grouchy when I walked in the door. She was also pretty incoherent which has been going on all week.
We managed to get her Depend changed and muddled our way through lunch. I put her down for a nap early because she was so lethargic and incoherent.
The LPN arrived and went in to do her check. For the first time, Adele did not spring into animation upon being touched. This is a huge sign. There have been many small changes throughout the last couple of weeks, but until this happened today with the nurse I would have had to stay skeptical that we were still really struggling.
While I am not ready yet to say that her passing is immanent, I will say that the end is in sight. There has been some progress in the spiritual area or with the other side. Not as much as would make this a very peaceful beautiful experience, but there is some progress, nevertheless.

I will be there to assist until the last breath. Then I will breathe a sigh of relief that all is complete.

The Rest of the Kalinowski's Lives

Just a quick update on everybody. Grandpa and Grandma have really monopolized the blog for several months.
Matt: Still working hard. Things are pretty settled at GM for now. We just say our prayers and cross our fingers and hope for the best. So far so good. Matt is still riding his motorcycle due to the mild fall.
Me: Mostly grumbling and grouching and dealing with Grandma. Every day is a new journey with huge adjustments and changes. People ask regularly what I will do when this difficult journey is done. I have no problem answering. 1. Sleep. 2. Enjoy having control of my time once again. 3. Pick up the rest of my life where I left off! And you can bet I will enjoy every second of it!
Merry: Really enjoying life. She is busy with school, her business and friends. This year she is on the student government with Mott and will be heading off to Washington DC in November. She is president of the infamous Travel Club this year and due to all the hard work last year, they are finding they have the money for Hawaii this spring.
Jeni: She just finished her internship with Fox 66 and is enjoying a slightly slower pace this fall. She is still finishing up classes even though she is technically graduated. She is very proud of her tumbling class as several of the students are getting very good! She will be going to Hawaii also. She and Kyle are still a couple. This makes over 2 years for them.
Rakieta: Beginning her 3rd year of sewing school. We have enough payment in for her prosthetic for them to begin measurements for her new one. Her father has decided to forgive Rakieta's sisters for choosing men who he did not want. This is a big deal as now the family is reunited once again.
Delilah: I think she is in Togo. There have been several phone calls from there, but no messages and I am just to busy with the old folks to tackle any new problems. I do plan to call to see what is up as soon as I get a breath.
Stephanie: Is living with her aunt and Uncle and things are going pretty good. Rakieta keeps up with her for me right now.
Horses: Loving being ridden so much. We love it too.
Chickens: growing, growing growing! I will have the coolest babies next time around!
Just Dance: Wonderful families and wonderful morale this year! It is going to be a good year!

Plugging Along

I have refrained from posting this last week for 2 reasons.
1. I wanted those who wanted to read Grandpa's obituary to not have to wade through several posts to find the one on Grandpa.
2. Grandma has managed to keep all 4 of us continually moving.
We allowed it for several days as we tried to assess how Grandpa's passing would affect Grandma. But as we began to see patterns and were able to figure things out, we have had to make several changes. Tonight the changes seem to be successful. But it has been a hell of a week. Grandma is aware on some level that Lee is gone. BUT, she is mostly mad at him and sometimes she flat out forgets he is gone. Mostly, everything is about her, just as it was before he passed. We allowed her demanding and needy behavior for several days because we didn't want her to come totally unglued, but eventually it was clear she really doesn't care.
She is in terminal restlessness for sure, BUT it has been going on for weeks and she is on a heavy duty does of meds as it is. So, then you have to go back to her spiritual issues.
Guess what??? Still no progress there. As far as I know, there is no deep, dark secret in her background. All this drama is based on spoiled, stubbornness.
This week I have gradually upped What we call the "BUTT KICKER" to 2 pills 4 times each day. That is allowing her to focus and to enjoy tv once again. Otherwise, she is trying to be in motion constantly and isn't happy to keep herself occupied at all. She is insistent that someone be with her at all times and she will not be gracious and do things like share the tv or accept that you have to make dinner.
Last night, because I was getting low on pills, I had given her one dose during the middle of the day instead of 2. By 6pm, she was insisting there was a conspiracy against her and trying to push her own wheel chair. So I was down at the drug store upon opening to pick up the meds this morning. She has had the proper dosages all day and for the moment things are going well.
We shall see how tomorrow goes.
Her body is growing tired. However, I am bracing for a long, rough end. Something is very wrong in this situation and no one can fix this but her. She shows absolutely no signs of working through things.
While Matt and I do not want to have to accept this. It is the reality and unless something major happens, it will just continue to be Hell.
So to get our sanity back, we have done what we can to regain control of the situation. Removing custody of the remote control from her has helped a lot. Insisting she doesn't get to control what lights are on, what shows are watched and when she is going to the bathroom (by the half hour) at all times is helping. Tonight I am going to sleep in her bed in her room which she refuses to sleep in and keep the baby monitor on. She will stay in her chair in the living room. I am sure she will not like it one bit, but it will probably help my mental health a lot.
She is not releasing and preparing to move on. So, it will have to be up to us to do it.

Leo Edward Kalinowski

Leo Edward Kalinowski was born on November 5, 1920 in Detroit, Mi to Adalbert and Victoria Kalinowski. He was the youngest of 4 children. His father died while he was very young and eventually his mother did remarry. I believe his mother was an immigrant. Leo's parents were from Poland. Much of the family settled in the Detroit area. They were hard working people who all understood farming. In fact Leo's Aunt Mary bought a large farm several miles from the Detroit neighborhood where he grew up. Pictures show a family who loved to work and laugh and who probably had a good sense of humor.
Leo joined the Navy in 1942 and was discharged in December 1945. He married his childhood sweetheart in November 1945. They lived in Detroit until 1964 when they moved to Warren. They had one son, Matthew, who was born in May, 1962. Leo retired from Chrysler Corp. in 1982 with full benefits. At that time they began a road trip that lasted several months and they traveled throughout the US. Eventually they settled on Zephyr Hills, Fla as a winter home and in 1986, when Matthew and Cyndy, his future daughter in law bought their own house, they sold the Warren home to live in Rose Lake, where they had a cottage, in the warm months and Florida in the cold months. They were able to continue this life style until 2006, when health forced them to move to Imlay City to be close to Matt, Cyndy and his 2 granddaughters, Merry and Jeni. Last October, further health problems found Leo and Adele living in Matt and Cyndy's big farm house with the family, the cats, dog and the dancers who visit the home several times each week. The learned to really enjoy all the noise and people and made many new friends.
Leo was an avid golfer who was able to golf until this summer. We were very glad about this as it brought him so much happiness. Leo also loved to travel and in their younger years, he and Adele did everything from their road trip to a cruise or 2 and even many trips to Vegas.
Leo was a very artistic person who made furniture, carved beautiful carvings and even did a few portraits.
Leo really lived a full life, free from health problems until the end and was a charming, funny man. At the end of his life he was quite a character who made us all smile daily.
Leo died October 18, 2009 at home with his family with no suffering.
Leo will be missed very much by all. We love you Grandpa!

Stardate 10/16/09

I am sitting here at the crack of dawn, actually it is 8:00am, but it feels like the crack of dawn, writing my post live. I can't begin to describe how good it feels to be back online again. Whether the internet is part of the devil's tool shop or not, most Americans are lost without it. Most Africans who have mastered it, find it a very helpful part of life too. I think it is one of those revolutionary things like the automobile and penicillin.
This morning I was rousted out of bed by big noises downstairs and Merry flying up the stairs to tell me Grandpa was up, crazy, in Grandma's clothes and was trying to go home. I came down and looked on the couch where he had collapsed and sure enough, he was dressed in Grandma's clothes and her winter coat and his baseball cap. He wasn't in much shape to go anywhere as he was breathing so laboriously. He was in really rough shape yesterday so I said "He might be trying to die." I am still waiting to see if that is what is up. He hasn't had a REALLY crazy spell in a long time, but yesterday I was sure we had numbered days left. However, he has had a fooled several times. We will think for sure that "this is it", then he will sleep hard and then he rises out of the ashes and he's his old self again.
Stop.
Start.
He is officially out of the ashes. Clothes are now changed. He is shaking way to much for comfort and is slurring, but he is wolfing down his 2nd bowl of cereal so I would say we are ok for now. In the meantime Grandma woke up and she needed to go to the bathroom....now!

Dealing with 2 dementia driven, late geriatric patients is quite a ballet dance sometimes. The difference between them and children is that the order is reversed. The milestones are not in achievements, but are in lost capabilities. Being able to accept that without anger, fear, frustration or being weirded out too much takes some skill. With my Granny, I just learned to separate myself from being attached to the person who I knew as a much younger, stronger woman. The trick is to understand what you are dealing with and not apply normal rules of rational to the person. If you allow yourself to be too emotional, you will lose it. The other huge difference between children and geriatric adults is that the egos are much larger in the old folks and learning to deal with that so confrontations are minimal is a skill all of it's own that can not be described. You just have to experiment and you learn through trial and error. Let me tell you, being on the receiving end of a dementia tyrade is pretty big incentive for finding non confrontational ways to deal with situations.

Eventually I will post a list of the meds we are using and how well they worked. I can tell you confidently that without the meds and without my adult daughters working part time, Matt and I would have had to give up because the work is just too hard and demanding.

Another thing that is a Godsend and something I never see in the traditional places like nursing homes are children's jigsaw puzzles. Lee likes the floor puzzles because the pieces are large enough for his arthritic fingers and his poor eye sight. 24-48 pieces are just about right because it can be done in 30 minutes to an hour. When we weren't on death's door and the memory was better, Trouble and Uno were big favorites. Now we are too far along for that, but in the early days we used them a lot.

Well I am going to end this post for today. It is now 12:30 and I am just finishing it. It is one of those days!

Are You Smarter Than a 5th grader?

What a refreshing surprise! I am now pretty much captive and by Grandma’s side all the time now. One of the Nurse aids had an epiphany and stated that my dear mother-in-law may be terrified of going to sleep because if she does she won’t wake up and that is the reason for all the frenzied anxiety and movement that has been going on for the better part of a month. I think the aid is dead on. There is so little evidence of any spiritual homework still so I am just guessing that it will all be done on the other side and she is just postponing it as long as possible. Luckily, her body is beginning to take over and sooner or later she will have no choice but to move on.
So to keep her from being Ursula the Sea Witch on too much sugar, I have resigned myself to babysitting Grandma. She accepts the girls and Matt ok, but seems to do the best with me. I assume it is because I am the true caregiver and have a good pulse on both her body and mental abilities and she must get some solace somehow. Don’t even ask what happens when I bring in an outsider to keep an eye on things. At this point, for everyone’s sanity, she gets me.
So, now instead of watching the desk and visiting with moms I am watching tv with Grandma in the evening. She likes the dance shows best, but will accept “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” Well, I was literally shocked at what a nice show that is! What, no filth? No disrespectful sarcasm, no swearing, This is network tv. What is going on here? Oh, wait a minute. This is channel 20. Years ago it was the channel that carried all the reruns, then it was WB. Now it is something else, but I have to tell you I was very IMPRESSED! I guess our society has not completely gone to the dogs yet. There is still hope.

I am sitting here writing my blog without internet service. That alone is frustrating and creates the crankies. Especially if you multiply it by 4 people.
On top of that, Adele has become quite a handful. Everyone is guessing it is terminal restlessness. Well, that is fine except it has been going on for a couple of weeks and her behavior is atrocious.
After a very difficult weekend I got on the phone this am to get approval for extra sedative for her. Even with it, she was dark, grumpy, disagreeable and most distressing- that never ending demanding attitude. So after an uneasy afternoon I told her I would be sitting in the living room with her tonight instead of watching the counter and talking to the dance moms. The relief on her face was obvious. So I came and sat with them. Guess what???? No problems. She is watching tv just like the old days. No need to get up constantly, no arguing with Grandpa, no creating drama, no fussing. It is a much needed relief to see this. Now mind you she is on an extra dose of her “butt kicker” but I didn’t see a big improvement until I came out and sat with them.
The nurse aid who bathes her and the LPN feel that she has begun kidney failure. I was relieved to hear this. First of all, it explains a lot of the symptoms and behaviors we are seeing and second of all, it means there is an end in sight. While passing over is an uneasy subject, the idea that she will be passing from kidney failure is a better option than passing from the cancer eating her up. Her sister was in this very same place in her cancer at one point and instead of accepting things, she fought it and insisted on dialysis and died such a violent, painful death. It only extended her life a few months, but instead of a peaceful passing, hers was really awful. Thankfully Adele’s will be much sweeter and quieter which we really need because of Grandpa.
Grandpa is hanging in there and I think he will do ok without her. He may not live a long time after her death, but it will be a much needed break for all of us, including Gramps after she passes on.
Tonight after grandpa went to bed, I talked with her briefly about the situation to make sure she didn’t have anything she needed to tell me. She didn’t. She is very content and just as I thought, she is very satisfied that I have taken care of all the business. We tried to just have one of us sit with her, including her son, all weekend but that didn’t do squat. So it looks as though some of this mayhem she has created was her way of letting me know that it is me she needs right now. Ok, so the woman who digs at me every chance she gets, wants me to be with her for this difficult transition in her life.
Now that is the behavior I predicted months ago. So I guess I will probably be the one who is with her when she passes. That is ok. I always thought that might be the case.
Still no major breaking news in the “taking care of business to pass over department“, BUT since I have come to sit, her whole demeanor has changed. So I think she is preparing, even if it is very different than what is described in the Hospice literature.
As I have stated often throughout this ordeal. It is most certainly one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am learning an enormous amount. I can see how much stronger it is making Matt and the girls too. We had no other choice, but we have no regrets.

Copper

(Work in progress)
Copper is our big horse whom we have the "time share" with. She is probably in her mid 20's. Last year, she really looked it. She was used occasionally for lessons, but mostly was a babysitter horse. She was not real emotionally attached to any human. I began to play with her and she took to that pretty good. She lived with our girls all winter and they got along pretty good. By spring, she was going out of her way to show love, but as a veteran horse with so many miles and probably a lot of owners, she was a horse who just went along with things.
With regular wormings and grain with senior feed mixed in, she has plumped up really well. She looks really great and strong!
Well, cold weather is beginning to set in. Routines are pretty set now and she, like our other 2 girls, now can recognize our vehicle noises. So, Copper who only started calling for me sometime this summer in a very quiet, kind of rusty whinny, is now bellering like I have never heard a horse when I pull in the driveway. She is not fond of running, but let me tell you, she runs from what ever corner of the field she happens to be parusing to the gate as soon as she realizes I am around, whinnying all the way. It is pretty cool to know I am "mom" to her. It's one thing to have the love of animals you have raised from babies. It is quite another to get the respect and love of a veteran horse. Our Moon, who we had until she was almost 37, was a very beloved mare and when she died, it left a hole in my heart. Copper has finally filled that hole.

Not Sure What to Write

I am sitting here at 8:30 pm in a very quiet house with most of the daily chores caught up, paperwork done and the babies, aka the grandparents, are quiet and ready for bed. This is unprecedented.
I changed bill day to accommodate the hairdresser, who could only come on Fridays so that is one stress out of the way.
Grandpa finally went to bed on schedule so he is finally settling down from his latest episode. We thought maybe we were going to lose him this time. The dust has not all settled yet but he looks like he's going to make it for now.
Grandma is tucked in watching "America's Funniest Videos" and will be off to sleep by 9:00 or so.
I have the couch until Matt gets home at midnight because Merry and Jeni are off to a wedding reception.
I am finding myself for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME with a little disposable time. Now I would rather be upstairs folding laundry, but I do need some time to just chill and unwind.

It's sort of like having 2 very large 1-2 year olds minus the loud crying...... and laughter for that matter. We have the messes, the need to be in very close proximity to them, the need to love, comfort and tuck them in, the need to reassure that everything is ok, redirect and lastly, remind them about everything and everybody. It is not a job for the weak, nor is it a job for someone who will take things personally, but it is a family duty nonetheless and we are all glad we didn't shirk the responsibility.

Adele is in her final weeks of her life. She has had a pretty gentle ride down. I know prayer has a lot to do with it, if not for her, than for the rest of us and Grandpa. Her memory is really weakening as is her energy and I am FINALLY noticing her beginning to cherish life and her family although still no progress in the God or other side department. Before I always thought she would go quietly with only me around or even perhaps the worker. Now I am changing my mind. She may go with everyone near. Not necessarily hovering, but more likely a Sunday night when we are all watching tv or something. She is changing a lot. This was a very difficult week. Hopefully, one of our worst, although I know how much worse it can get. Thankfully, we are getting a little less Ursula the sea witch each day and a little more placid, enjoyable grandma.

Passing on and God

Ok, to most of us regular, ordinary Midwest folks over the age of 35-40, God and Jesus are part of our fabric. I grew up knowing that even those mad at God or those who were non practicers, if the chips were down, would suddenly remember God.
As I moved out of my northern Michigan isolation and met more people from all over the world, I came to realise that not everyone had such an understanding of God. Sadly, in addition our culture in the last 20-30 years has become increasingly secular so more and more children do not know God. But that is another post.
Myself, I could not, no I would not want to deal with everything life has to dish out if I wasn't in constant communication with the other side. It is what keeps me going in good times and in bad. We are practicing Catholics. But one side of my family was protestant and being a veteran home school family we are pretty well versed in all the facets of the protestant side of Christianity. My own beliefs are not strictly doctrinal. I have seen too much in my life to be too rigid, but it is very easy for me to say without a doubt: "There is a very active, communicating afterlife out there."
That brings me to the main point of this post. We almost lost Grandma 3 weeks ago. That day she was in definite communication with the other side. I never heard her refer to God, Jesus or any angels but she did have a guy in a janitor's uniform hanging around. He was her CUSTODIAN. So the afterlife does have a sense of humor. The next day she did whisper the Lord's Prayer quietly, but then NOTHING!
With each day, she became more and more demanding, spoiled, self absorbed and insistent she was back to rule the roost.
No self reflection, No talking to or about the relatives or the old days, no making peace, no finishing unfinished business. Just Ursula the sea Witch lording over the living room!
Grandma is very materialistic. They quit going to church a long time ago. And even before they quit they were the lazy Catholics us up north folks always shook our heads in bewilderment at who left Mass right after communion. For those of you who don't get this, northern Michigan is full of vacationers in the summer. Those guys would go to Mass in our churches and then after they received communion, instead of going back to their pews to pray, they always just continued out the exits. Us locals were always a little baffled about this ritual because it made no sense to us.
I am digressing. sorry.
Anyway, we always pray for a family meal. So I make any guest who is at our table pray too. I figure if nothing else, it teaches the different traditions families have. So Grandpa and Grandma also prayed at the house when they came over. Once they moved in the practice continued. Now most Catholics pray the "Bless us our Lord" prayer. Unless we have practicing protestant people over, that is the prayer we use also. If we have someone who is well versed in free prayer over, we let them lead.
Grandpa and Grandma were both raised with the "Bless us our Lord" prayer. So it has been an easy thing for them to remember as they have declined.
One day several months ago, we had carry out food and only a partial family attending. We began to eat without praying. Grandpa sat there and grinned at me and wouldn't eat. He kept smiling at me. I knew something was up, but couldn't figure it out. Finally he said "Well aren't we going to....and he genuflected (Father, Son, Holy Spirit thing for you non catholics) I said "Of Course and we all put down our food and prayed. Since that day we always pray no matter what. Grandma, for all her need to short cut things and completely destroy traditions, also has found solace in this.
So it was a bit of a surprise to me when it dawned on me last night as I watched her obsess over her calendar for what seemed like hours that perhaps these obsession spells that she goes through daily are part of her refusal to let the other side through. She also blasts the tv to deafening levels at different times of the day. I am certain that is what that is about. It also dawned on me that except for the meal prayer, the other person completely absent from her life is God, Jesus or even Mary. Hmmmmmm.........................................
This is a mystery that only she and the other side can solve. My best guess is that she went, saw something she didn't like or was told to go back and resolve something and so fell back into her shoes with a thud. (read a few posts back for more on that)
Unfortunately, all she is doing is refusing to deal with her upcoming passing. If she doesn't give in pretty soon she will suffer physically going out as her body is beginning to show distress. I hate to see that, but only she can make the changes needed.
My granny also died from geriatric cancer. She was 85. BUT there was a huge difference. She made peace with God and her affairs pretty quickly. Consequently, she went very gently and peacefully. Based on my observations, this really does seem to make a huge difference.

The Joys of a Sunny Fall Day

Well, Fall is officially here. September has been a pretty pleasant experience so far. Mild, sunny and dry for the most part. Sunday is my riding day and I was able to get away from my nurse duties for a while so off I went to ride. One little problem. No Jeni, the horse expert, to chaperon us.
What could possibly happen you say? Well, trail rides are pretty and romantic but they are also spooky and scary if you are a horse. Horses don't like the unknown and don't act all mellow and brave like you see on tv or the movies. My reflexes are pretty slow. I have not taken on too much in the riding department precisely because of that. Could I truly handle a spooked horse? It only takes a grasshopper or a weird piece of litter to find yourself running when you didn't plan to. So, after a discussion of what might possible get us into trouble today with Jeni, I decided I was ready to brave being in charge for the first time on a trail ride.
Kara called at the usual time. She is a neighbor girl and sister of one of our dancers who is now graduated and part of the staff. Being in her mid 20's, she is pretty level headed and responsible. So we have been training her all summer to be a second rider for just this kind of situation. Riding weekly for free works for Kara so it has been win-win for everyone. Riding alone on trails is not highly recommended for safety reasons. Plus it is a lot more fun to ride with others.
Anyhoo, I informed her we were on our own today and she was game, so we began our adventure. We were a success!! We had a beautiful ride and explored many of the acres we ride on.
Nothing like a warm. sunny Fall day and a nice horse ride to help you find God, peace and your inner strength. Now I am ready for the week ahead.

Update on chickens!

Grandma has 2 fresh eggs scrambled every day. One of the reasons she is still thriving so well I think. However, yesterday she turned them down so it may be one more sign the end is in sight. She has already given up all meats and real chewy foods.
Anyway, the other morning I opened a small egg and the yolk was only about 1 inch across. A sure sign that my babies are beginning to lay.
I can't wait to begin hatching now. The babies are going to be awesome!

Grandma's new DOO!

This is a picture Of Adele, aka Grandma K., and when I am really losing patience with her "Ursula the sea Witch". I just had to post this though, especially since I have not been so gracious in my writings about her of late.
This picture was taken Friday. She especially requested this because she loves her hairdo so much. Adele was never a wash and set weekly gal. Upon moving to Imlay City, that was one of the first clues that things were unraveling with the Kalinowski grandma. Her hair was looking pretty unkempt. I suggested she spoil herself with this. She eventually did find a hair dresser just down the block and she dearly loved Vicki, BUT she would only go sporadically and usually with no notice. Once she moved in with us, she kept trying to pull the "Give me the phone, I want to go get my hair washed and set now" garbage. No matter how much I explained that this was not courteous and that Vicki needed her to get on a schedule, it didn't sink in and she would just spew tantrums at me that only a mother-in-law can hurl. Luckily, she had largely forgotten how to use the phone correctly and I had the car keys so I was able with some gentle persuasion able to get her on a schedule by just working directly with Vicki. Of course after just 2 appointments she was hooked, so I then moved her to weekly which was taking car of hygiene as well as giving her a special day out. So that has been our Tuesday morning routine since December 2008. She attended those appointments every week even though it was getting increasingly difficult right up until the week we almost lost her in early September.
It took a little while to get Hospice organized the way I needed them to be but 2 Fridays ago our traveling hair dresser finally arrived. While Adele was thrilled with the shampoo, she immediately threw a fit over the hair do. So this week, Cyndy the drill Sargent, had to get Hospice and the traveling hair dresser to get their act together. (For any of you who have ever dealt with a chronic medical situation where there is a revolving door of staff invading your privacy non stop you can relate, I am sure)
So this week Kim arrived ready to tackle Ursula the Sea Witch and her angry attitude over her hair. With my fussing like a young mother and Kim's great expertise as a hair artist, we achieved the humongous task. Grandma wheeled back off to her chair satisfied. Now the big test-would she still be happy several hours later? Well, the litmus test is in the picture. She loved it so much she wanted a picture. So Kim is a resounding success and miracle worker!

Capac Days 2009

The float en route!

Some of the Just Dance gang!

Yesterday was the Capac Days parade which has a very long history as do many of the festivals and parades in little burgs in Michigan. Especially the thumb and southern Michigan. Anyway, 2007 was an anniversary of some sort. (Me thinks probably 150) So the festival and parade were absolutely wonderful and everyone wanted to keep up the momentum. Unfortunately there were a series of mishaps that were out of the control of the committee, but also there was a changing of the some of the guard and while there were some issues last year, this year it was a complete train wreck. To not add salt to anyone's wounds I'll refrain from giving an entertaining description. Now if you've ever met the parade chairman, you would know she is an "every I dotted, and every T crossed" kind of girl who is very organized, professional and an absolute delight to work with. Well, something went terribly wrong this week. Even living the next town over and really having nothing to do with Capac politics I got the picture loud and clear.
But, even with all the problems and the rain, the parade was successful and we had a really good experience. And for a quickly put together float on a brand new to us wagon the float looked great. Now that we have broken it in and know how much room we have we can make a really cool float next year. For those of you who do floats, you know everything has to be constructed on sight because any major road time will completely destroy even the best floats. Just dance does several parades each year and it is something the students and families always enjoy.

Good morning world!

I am writing a little more. Know why? Because I am the bright and early shift and nowadays you have to be positioned within eye and ear shot at all times or Grandma does crazy things like tell Grandpa to push her in the wheel chair while holding hot chocolate. She can be such a BRAT! She knows better, but she keeps doing things like that because she keeps trying to go back to the past when it was just the 2 of them. Yes, we are all about ready to move out and leave her here to rule herself.
Anyway, since they must be supervised at all times and since no one else is usually around in the bright and early hours I am getting some computer time once again. I actually don't mind too much.
Today I am determined to have a normal day. We have spent the better part of a week adjusting meds and watching like a hawk because it looked like something was going to give. In the meantime, Grandpa has quietly faded some more so in the end, he may go first. One thing is certain, he is getting more and more impatient with her too. Her refusal to deal with her emotional and spiritual affairs and to just insist she will sit on her throne here on earth for ever and ever is wearing everyone out.
Well I am off to deal with farm chores, dance chores and cooking. Who knows, maybe I'll even get to cut the grass a bit.

I have been watching Petticoat Junction as my late night tv lately. I love dvd boxed sets! I have always been a fan of both Green Acres and Petticoat Junction. The girls and I used to watch the reruns on tvland. Green Acres I actually remember as a child and loved it even then. But now watching the boxed sets I am thoroughly enjoying the characters of Hooterville. There is something truly enchanting about humor of the early 60's. It is a slower, sweeter humor and much more subtle but oh so wicked. Just watch old Rocky and Bullwinkle or Bugs Bunny cartoons for proof of that.
The characters of Hooterville jump back and forth between the 2 shows and they are like old friends to the audience, but Petticoat Junction revolves around the cannonball, an old locomotive that runs between Pixley and Hooterville with the Shady Rest in between the two. This is special to me because I can relate to the small town humor of the shows and once upon a time a long time ago, my grandparents operated a little diner/flea market/pony ring, etc. that was a stop for an old fashioned locomotive that ran from Lake City into my grandparents eatery and beyond. I am not sure how far west it ran. But I rode that train many, many times and it was a lot like the cannonball of the C & FW railroad from Petticoat Junction. I got to ride in the engine with my grandpa like Betty Jo does in the show. I am sure I am the only one of the grandkids who has any memories of this as I am the oldest. But it was pretty cool. Now writing about it I realize just how cool. I'll have to dig up some pictures of the station when I get a free minute to add to this post.
The Shadyrest and Lisa and Oliver Douglas's house remind me of some buildings or homes I spent a lot of time in as a kid. Does anyone from Cadillac remember Sandell's Auction house or Bonanza Auction? Sandell's had that spooky old house full of treasures feel and Bonanza was a junky building near what is now Kmart full of goodies. If I was real good I got to go on Friday night with my grandpa and granny. I think they went for fun and to stock the little diner. We also used to go to some place way south of town to pick up penny candy. It was somewhere near the cemetery.
Petticoat Junction sure has been a solace to a very complicated, difficult time in my life.

A little Philosophy and Ramblings about Nothing

Today things are very quiet in the Kalinowski household as is appropriate. I can't go outside to do chores or anything as Grandma MUST be supervised at all times so I am sitting in a very quiet house getting an opportunity to do a little computer catch up.
Today is different around here. No tv for grandma. She is sleeping all snuggled in her chair as she is confined to her chair. She loves her chair. She has cancer in the lung area now we think so sleeping flat is not comfortable or restful for her. I ordered her a hospital bed, BUT the first night she slept in it she got herself and Grandpa in huge trouble because she was not sleeping soundly, her dementia is getting pretty bad and she has this incessant need to make everything about "them against the world". Needless to say, I was dragged out of bed way too early, she was screaming at him because he couldn't be her servant (he can't recognize any of us any more and gets lost in the house, following directions is pretty much out for him at this point). Then she starting screaming at me which led to her slapping me. So now Grandma sleeps in the chair 24/7 for everyone's sanity.
I digress.
Grandpa went back to bed this morning. Merry and Jeni will probably only surface shortly before they have to get ready for a graduation/wedding open house later today as they are exhausted too. Matt had 2 nights on the couch so he is also catching up on much needed rest.
Needless to say, Mass is not an option today.
So I am sitting here looking across the house out my living room window. It is a decent view- trees, the farm across the road and the beans from the corporate farmer. Just a week or so ago, the field was very green. This morning is is a golden yellow. With the yellows, golds and reds erupting everywhere we are forced to accept that Fall is on it's way. September has pretty much been a blur for me. It is hard to believe we are over half way through it already.
One of the things I love about Fall are how gorgeous red barns look next to the autumn trees. Living in a place with 4 seasons really is a gift from God........... I can't wait for my next horse ride.

Stardate 9/19/2009

This is our group for the BIH show. One of our older girls was out due to sickness and of course Jeni is missing. She was our MC! The girls did a very good job!

Merry, Tammy, Ken and Karl. I made Merry and Tammy's dresses. No one was sure how the Scottish theme would turn out but it was truly very beautiful and well done.

Today was a power day like no other! There was dance class for the little guys, a big show over at the Perani Center in Flint for Fox 66's BIH Fall festival event which Jeni helped organize and run, then Tammy and Ken's wedding. Well we pulled it off. I am showing off a couple of pictures.
Our poor aid put in a very LONGGG day with grandpa and Grandma!

Sigh..............

This is me. Actually this is all of us these days. Grandma is wearing us out. She is in a lot of pain so takes a lot of meds and sleeps most of the time, but it is the small amounts of time she doesn't sleep that become the problem. She is not accepting the end of her life STILL. She is not really doing much in the way of mental and spiritual preparation so the rest of the journey is going to be difficult, stressful and probably pretty unpleasant. I keep shaking my head in perplexity. The problem seems to have something to do with her not accepting separation from her husband. She must have some screwy, romantic idea about soul mates passing together. (No, she did not see "The Notebook" and my kids assure me this situation has nothing in common with that one. I am taking a rain check on watching it as I don't need that kind of emotionally charged activity in my life on top of everything else right this minute.)
That would be fine I guess, but he is making it clear that they are 2 separate people who have two separate paths. (Yes, even in his very deteriorating state he gets his point across. He is such a hoot.)
She is not happy about this and is being quite stubborn. Unfortunately the rest of us are the ones who are being punished.
The way she landed back in her shoes with such a thud gave me the impression that she had unfinished business. Unfortunately she does not seem to be making any progress there. Thankfully her body is shutting down in spite of her best efforts to "shove this under the rug" so she will have to move on. I just wish she would actually do her homework so it would be a little less difficult and violent for the rest of us.
Sigh.....................

Update on Adele

Not a lot of big news on her since last week. She had a bag packed and was on her way to the other side last Tuesday. She was quite surprised and indignant when she woke up Wednesday morning. So I took that to mean the other side sent her back to finish business. By that I assume it is her relationship with her husband which is just not healthy. The first couple of days she appeared to be working on some things, but as she became stronger, the poopiness in her returned with a vengeance. For a few days I was about to kill her. But she is weakening again gently and does appear to be working some. She is just a spoiled, naughty little girl who was always able to shmooze and massage those around her to give her what she wanted. When that didn't work, she threw such a fit, everyone just backed away. I fully understand now why the 2 of them were so distant with everyone including each other and why the power struggles were so fierce. Matt is learning a lot about his past and it has been good for him to even if a bit draining.
While she is not giving the process good effort and she is fighting giving up control like I have never seen, she is just going to have to relent and come to peace with things. The crux of the problem seems to revolve around the 2 of them and I am sure she is not willing to accept that they can't go together, BUT GOD will win out and this too shall pass. I will update as something noteworthy happens. In the meantime, your prayers to help her accept passing over will be very helpful. As well as prayers to help Lee cope with all this without a major decline. Thanks in advance!

Dance Classes Commence!

Well, the fall season is under way whether I am ready or not. Mostly I am not. I am so overwhelmed with tasks because of grandma, BUT beginning the season is good for my soul. The kids make me smile and laugh, we have GREAT families and it is A BIT OF OUR NORMALCY BACK. I had to end the horse lessons prematurely. Hopefully it is only temporary, but since Adele has been declining so hard, I have barely been getting my teeth brushed or getting out to spend time with the critters let alone have ANY free or ME time. Well, this too shall pass. People ask all the time what I will do when this part of my life is completed. Believe me, I have no shortage of things to pick up where I left off. While I wish her a gentle peaceful passing, I also am looking forward very much to my old life back.

Olga Checks In!!!

Just when I thought we would never hear from her again, Olga sent an e-mail yesterday! Communication has been long and arduous with her for many reasons, but e-mail especially has not gone real well. I am not sure if the characters are having trouble going back and forth in cyber space or what. We are just very happy to hear from her. I will be sure to post as we catch up on each other's lives. Olga is a young woman from Russia who we had been corresponding with and sponsoring to some degree as a teenager. The story of how we met is pretty cute. However, we have not communicated much in a couple years so I had about given up. This is a good day indeed!

SOS Ouagadougou!

Hey you guys in Ouaga, tell Rakieta I am having trouble getting through on the phone. I bought a new phone card to try first thing tomorrow (9/9/09). Hang in there. I haven't forgotten you. Grandma is keeping me very busy and she is going to die very soon, but I will get through by telephone soon I promise!

Late Sunmmer Nights!

Well Grandma is still hanging in there. We almost lost her last week, but those on the other side sent her back. She was quite indignant about it too. She is a little less CRANKY and a bit more polite so I do think she is doing her home work BUT she is on a hefty dose of Haliperidol 2x daily as she became uncontrollable during her discussions with the relatives and such and between trying to walk when she can no longer walk, slapping me twice and being just vicious with Lee, it was decided for everyone's sanity, that she would have to have her end of life experiences a little less vividly. Anyhoo, as of tonight her body is heating up again so I think we are beginning another fun ride. Oh boy!
So, all this excitement and lack of any disposable time has reminded me to be grateful for the little things. We have a care aid who we have coming in most days in addition to the barage of Hospice folks just so we can have SOME normalcy. So I was finally able to cut all my grass yesterday. That is one of the little things I am talking about. Today I was able to skim the pool guilt free and uninterupted. This evening my rotten little ponies decided to take a trot through the yard after they broke out while I was bringing them in a wagon load full of fresh grass. While I wanted to kill them, I was grateful for the opportunity to just enjoy the experience. It felt a little bit like normal around our house. Besides it was quite entertaining to the folks inside to see these black georgous creatures flying past the windows.
I now have to put my chickens to bed before dark because my prowler is back. He is too big to catch in my big cage so it is either a wily old coon or a fox. The tail didn't look like fox, but I am not ruling it out. It looked like a cat that was at least knee high and it isn't a too fat house cat as I would have caught that by now. No this is a crafty villian to be sure. We need one of MonsterQuest's crittercams.
Well, exaustion is setting in so I will close for now. Till next time.

Weekly Ride

This weekend will be a 1 year anniversary since I made the commitment to horseback ride at least once a week. And for the most part I have been able to keep my promise. I am not a great rider and probably never will be because my reflexes are so slow. My girls did not inherit all their dancing ability from me, that's for sure.
Anyway, good rider or not, trail riding is a wonderful experience and a great way to connect with nature. I am so grateful for our "furry kids" and the joy they bring to us. I also enjoy very much being able to give others the gift of "playing with horses".
I have a lot of posting to do. The problem is I have absolutely NO EXTRA TIME. However, keep checking because this too shall pass and I will get some of my disposable time back as soon as we get Grandma off to her new life with God.

Quiet Summer Nights

I have been lazy in posting lately. Actually not really. More like too exhausted by the time I sit down to even compile coherent thoughts. But it has been a great summer. Tonight I moved my big water trough just to make sure the helicopter trees weren't poisoning my goldfish. It was dusk, the humidity has disappeared, the breeze was very gentle. The ponies were nickering and the chickens were settling in for the night. I love just sitting on the bench soaking it all in. Especially if the moon is coming up real bright.
Grandpa and Grandma have settled into a quiet steady decline. Neither was too willing to put their affairs in order, so I assume their attitude, when coherent was one of rebellion against aging or just denial, and they both can keep all of us on our toes some days, but things are pretty good for them and they are living out their last days in a pretty good way. Lots of sleepy days. I just try to make sure we have a good movie for them on Saturday nights and keep the foods they are enjoying at the moment on hand since appetites are rapidly declining.
The farm stuff is really cool this summer. Mini Me, the homicidal maniac pony, just melts when the kids start grooming him. He turns to peanut butter for them. I couldn't be happier with the way the lessons are working for both the kids and our horses. Not a lot of home grown chicks this year so far. I think maybe a few of my roosters are shooting blanks. Seems like a lot of eggs that never developed. However, the weather was so screwy earlier that that could have been the culprit. I do have 2 on eggs now and I think things are a-ok for them. The chicks I bought are mostly grown now and not too many roosters. The ducks have settled into wedded bliss and are doting over a clutch of about 13. I can't wait. The garden isn't big, but is very prolific so it's all good.
I finally went through the last box of the grandparents. So no more unsorted stuff. Now to just get the stacks out of my house and off my porch. Getting my sister's wedding dress done and getting control of our clutter and stacks are my highest priorities the next couple of weeks.
Rakieta took her money over to the clinic for her new leg. They told her that when she brings her next payment in, they will begin her measurements. She is very excited. This is a big deal to be able to accomplish something like this in her country. She is very proud. Our latest crisis is that she is worried she will never sew well enough to sell her sewing. We will overcome this too. She is just a worry wort. I am planning my next trip as soon as Grandma has passed. I think Grandpa will be ok if I leave him for a week or 2 since he is now getting lost even in the house. In other words his memory is very minimal at this point. We do the best with games like "Good Night, Don't let the bed bugs bite." He can remember the games and who he plays them with. He just can't remember much else any more.
Well, it is getting late and I am getting sleepy so I think I will head off to watch tv and listen to more of the soothing quiet night sounds. Have a good one everybody!

Computer Back Log

I have an assortment of pics to put up and it just seems like I never have enough time. However, I promise to at least do a few at a time over the next week or so. I'll try to post a little more too.
But for you chicken fans just know things are going well. No more predators and the babies are getting very big. Mrs. Duck is so happy. She is laying and actually making a nest. That is a big accomplishment for a duck, especially a mini. Now let's see if she sits.
The horses are absolutely GREAT!!!! All decisions leading up to now have been wise and the barnyard is wonderful.
Things in Africa are moving along.
Things are as positive as can be expected for the grandparents. They are happy and cozy and so while rough waters are ahead, they are content.
I have managed to watch I Dream of Jeanie season 5 and Bewitched season 7 this summer at night. I consider that my mandatory cheer each day.
The U.S. is still nuts, but it looks like the logical bread and butter Midwestern folk are getting their voices heard so maybe the corrupt radical liberals trying to destroy our country may not get their way. I love the enthusiasm and energy us little people are finally showing the nuts in Washington!

My Aching Head and Back!

I woke up with a head ache this morning. I shouldn't have. It was a low barometer kind and clouds are high and dry today. So far it is still hanging on. Distant, but there. Now after slaving over the computer most of the day, my neck is stiff too. I am not sitting around enough on the computer I guess and my neck muscles are getting weak.
A lot of African stuff today. I still am not making contact with the prosthetic clinic even with a lot of ingenuity and work. So goes another day in the life of Burkina Faso. Once we get everything straightened out, I think we will be super okie dokie. It is just like trying to push a train, getting things done over there.........especially from over here...........especially since my French is so bad and their English is worse. Oh well, with perseverance we can and will overcome.
Rakieta is still waking up with blood in her mouth. The dentist told her she had dirty teeth but no other problems so it is medical. Refer to paragraph 2. Oh well, with perseverance we can and will overcome this too.
Grandma has developed a chest rattle. The Hospice nurse thinks it is probably cancer up there from the way it sounds. That would also explain her back aches that come and go. Not good news, but also it means she will not hang in in a lethergy for a long time.

Hmmm.........me thinks me knows why I am aching so much. My body must be telling me to release some of my stress. Having Hospice has helped a lot and I have learned to not let Africa get to me. It requires me ordering myself to breathe and live and accept that so much is out of my control. I wouldn't wish the harsh lifestyle on anyone, but I truly have learned patience and have been reminded so many times to have faith from them.

My table and Chairs

Dining room table without leaves

Chair back and seat

Chair leg and table pedestal

I thought I had posted on my dining room table before but upon looking back over my posts I didn't see it so I will post again. I ended up having to special order my chairs. It took a really long time to find someone to order them for me. But I did, they were on back order and you know what? I lived through it all just fine. No weird crisis. So, I will order furniture in the future with absolutely no trepidation.
The story is that I bought a beautiful table but not the matching chairs as they were just "too much" for my farmhouse. The table needed to open to at least 90 inches and I found the perfect one and it was an awesome deal. Then after Christmas I began to look for chairs. I eventually found 2 that were perfect. Turns out they were from the same company. The problem came when I wanted to order 4 more to match. The company which has beautiful furniture will only sell through dealers, not to any individual customers. So I began my quest to track down a dealer. Not so easy in this difficult credit economy. Furniture has taken a huge hit with the recession and since there is a minimum order of 1500.00 for each dealer and no one can get or wants to run up too much credit in furniture that may not sell, I hit brick wall after brick wall. Finally I found a dealer who was not only a current customer of the company but only 40 minutes away. Woohoo!!
Chairs ordered successfully. Unfortunately 3 days later I got a call telling me they were on back order. However they arrived 2 weeks earlier than predicted and they are now safely in my dining room. It feels great. This is my first "grown up, brand new, high end" dining room set. We were always so busy raising kids and doing kid things that were not conducive to an expensive dining set. We did leave Grandpa in the old chair since he needs spill proof and the arms on his chair are better support for him.

I should be Running Errands

Instead I am hiding out in the extra room watching MonsterQuest. This episode is about monster sized spiders. I have avoided this episode up until now as I had enough stress in my life and didn't need to become educated on this subject. However, the lack of choices on the tube today, made me finally give in.
Today is normally trail riding day for Jeni and I, but we are riding tomorrow instead. The list of Grandma and granpa supplies is pretty long. I really do need to get moving, BUT.......I just need some down time. I am sure everyone reading this can relate. Just unorganized, wasted couch potato time.
There is a lot going on around here as usual, but I am finding that more and more of the projects on my neverending to do list seem to be checked off. As that happens it brings a quiet satisfaction.

That is great because we are entering the next difficult phase of advanced geriatric care. Grandpa is sleeping about 18 hours per day. That is fine and normal according to the Hospice people. Trouble is Grandma's dementia is getting worse and she can be just vicious. So we no longer seem to need to guard the doors or the papers as much from a wandering curious Grandpa. Now we need to guard the bedroom door to keep Grandma from waking him up and yelling at him for sleeping. Of course she has a different set of rules for herself. She is sleeping about 14 hours per day. So goes the day of our lives around here.

In all seriousness, Grandpa has Hospice, which to me is the Godsend as it is the training wheels I so desperately need for dealing with death from dementia/Alzheimers. Grandma is bleeding again and showing other signs that indicate the cancer getting more and more aggressive. The plan is to have the same caregivers we have for Grandpa work with Grandma since she isn't handling the disease proactively at all and will not accept Hospice willingly.
As always, Hospice has been awesome so far. However, I did a lot of interviewing and found a program that did deal extensively with dementia. It has been a good decision and we have no regrets so far.
Well, I think I have chatted enough. Until next time.

Rocky

Rocky eating with the girls

He is so beautiful!

This post is about Rocky. We got him 13 years ago. We don't know how old he was except that he was full grown already and he was "broke" to ride. We don't know if he was 2 or 6 or 10. However, his wither is looking very pronounced this summer. That would lead one to believe maybe he is a pretty mature horse. Ponies can live into their 40's so he has a long life ahead as easy as his life is. Our daughters grew up loving him and getting very comfortable with horses taking care of him and now he has several children who come to love and take care of him each week. He is loving it. He missed his girls (Merry and Jeni) who don't give him a lot of time any more. I love all my critters very much but he will always hold a very special place in my heart. I used to say: "If no one ever rides him, it's ok, he is just so beautiful to look at and watch."
Even with all the troubles in the world, and all the issues with Grandpa and Grandma, having all the nice times with the lesson kids and seeing the progress with the horses makes me very happy.
Our goal is to have horses that can work with any person with any level of experience or limitation. I think we will have achieved our goals by winter this year.

More Hen House Pictures

My adoptive mom and her new children!

Antonio Banderas, my youngest full grown rooster. He is destined for greatness.

Green Acres

Today has been quite a day in the chicken coop. For starters, I went out to open the coop and found a couple of babies out. Shoot! I forgot to put the brick in front of the door last night. Well as I did my head count I found my 2 black silkie youngsters missing. They never did show up. No bodies anywhere. They went to bed last night. So that means one thing. The little munchkins snuck out of the crack in the door too early this morning and something was still prowling. Now after all these years with chickens I know my preditors. Couldn't have been hawks. The trees give great cover. Coons, opossoms and skunks, weasels/minks leave very distinct calling cards usually involving body parts and/or go for the eggs first. So this is a carnivor of some sort. So out came the trap. I have set out pork cutlet. I'll be sure to report what I get. It is either a ferocious feral cat or a bobcat or fox is coming up close to the house which is a first. You see we have no cover in the field behind us. It is a corperate farm so those creatures usually stay further away since they don't like to cross that field. BUT we are seeing the critters closer and closer. I think it means there are greater numbers in the area.
Ok, first problem solved more or less.
Next problem. I have 2 hens that we think are at least 12. Guess what?! 12 year old hens get old hen diseases. Now I have a nutty hen who can't seem to stand any more. This started today. It's not a wound. It seems like a hip replacement issue and maybe convulsions. I don't know what to do. She is as fat as can be and laid an egg today. I put her in cage to protect her from the mob and roosters and I guess I'll deal with her tomorrow.
Problem 3. Then there are the 3 silly mothers currently in the nursery pen. I am dealing with Psycho Sadie, probably a daughter who is a first time mother, and a part Aracana hen (blue eggs) and they are known for not being good mothers. However, this one is determined to mother. It's the sitting on the eggs properly she can't seem to get right.
Ok, Sadie who is a problem every year, hatched 2 chicks. She had at least 6 more eggs. The hens generally sit for several more days while they wait on the rest of the eggs. Not Sadie. Her babies were born yesterday. This afternoon she already had her babies out of the nest and had abandoned her eggs. Her daughter, whose personality is similar to Sadie's, had one baby and had somehow managed to carry the wee one up and out of a box 2 feet deep. I am still trying to figure that one out. Her eggs were abandoned too. So I began to clean up the eggs. Imagine my surprise to find a brand new baby in Sadie's nest. The poor thing was frozen but still peeping. So I took all the eggs and the poor orphan into the house and put them under a light in a box. After doing some chores and thinking I decided to stick the orphan under the hen who can't figure out how to incubate her eggs properly. Bingo! She accepted the baby. Problem more or less solved.
I did my horse lesson and all my other chores and finally at about 9 pm I went back to see if my eggs had any cracking showing any potential new babies. Imagine my surprise to hear chirping in one of the eggs. That has never happened to us before. So I took the egg out to my adoptive mother and she immediately accepted the egg and began talking to it. Hopefully I'll go out to 2 beautiful babies tomorrow. Although you never know with chickens. Mother hens can be very cruel to eggs and babies. They seem to just know if a chick isn't healthy or a egg isn't right.
I have one last thing to report in the chicken coop. My female call duck (mini) finally laid an egg. She is very happy with her new mate and her permanant home in the nursery pen. That is great news.

More heaven!

Meal time for baby chicks

Peonies 2009. We only had one day to really enjoy them because we had a massive storm the next night.

Me on horseback finally!!!

Sweetie, our lapdog. She came to us as a 3 month old. She is bratty about some things like her feet, but you just couldn't ask for a better little all around horse. Her big problem is that she is such a pet. But we love her!

Pooped after a power ride

Ok, guys here is something I just know you can't live without. Me on horseback. Seriously, these pics have been so long coming. We have pics of everybody on the horses over the years but me.

Eggs!

What a weird thing to post about you say?! Well, stay with me. You will be glad you did. Our home has a proliferation of eggs at all times. Last year I froze the extras and we still have many of them so I haven't yet frozen this year. The egg basket ALWAYS has at least 3 dozen eggs in it. I use two recipes that use 4 eggs each at least twice a week. Bread and brownies. I give eggs away regularly. Just sell 'em you say. Well, it's not quite that easy when you breed for chicks.
The chemistry is as follows:
Chickens get busy (romantically),
Hen lays egg,
Many times many hens lay in the same box throughout the day, after x hours egg is no longer just an egg, it is an embryo.
Now, most people are just not interested in buying eggs in different stages of chick development for eating.
Also, mine free range (I let them loose to eat bugs etc) That makes the egg a bit stronger flavored. Some folks aren't too keen on that.
Lastly, if I am selling a lot, I run out of eggs for us and for breeding. But eggs for selling really are best if the roosters are removed. Then there is no chemistry issue.
Ok, back to the point. My family takes our eggs for granted and isn't always gracious about things. For example, there is a whining/groaning aspect about having to open the eggs into a separate cup rather than right into the pan etc. They hate it that they might need to wash the eggs. They want the convenience of white store bought eggs. Sometimes our sunny side up eggs are a little stronger than store bought so the whining commences over that too. Of course no one is whining over the yummy bread, brownies or boiled eggs on command.
But even I don't enjoy scrambled eggs that taste really yolky. Then this morning I got an epiphany. I grew up always adding a little milk to the scrambled egg mix. I never questioned why, we just did it. However, when Teflon pans came along the mix was too goopy so I ditched the practice.
This morning it dawned on me that maybe the milk was added to the eggs to sweeten the taste since both sides of my parent's families had farms/chickens as they grew up. I had always assumed it was to stretch the eggs since we were big families who had very healthy appetites. Well. viola! My scrambled eggs were wonderful! Mild and light yellow just like I love them!
Now on to the rest of the story-
Rakieta's mom walked several miles (3-5) to bring Rakieta eggs. R's family is very poor, BUT they keep chickens and in Burkina Faso, eggs are a HUGE luxury. Her mom brought her 16 eggs. She told me how she split them and who she shared them with. Folks, imagine a woman walking that far in the heat and traffic without real great storage to keep the eggs from cracking and giving them to her daughter who painstakingly took them by taxi to her school where she gave some to her best friends who lovingly saved them all day, took them home by whatever transportation they had, perhaps more walking, perhaps moped.
Each egg is worth something like .75 to $1.00 and they are just hard to come by. That is from not understanding utilizing better farming methods AND just plain lack of resources.
I think about my overabundance of eggs and the whining in my family about our eggs and the lack of conveniences they perceive. Then I think about the painstaking care R's mother's eggs received. Oh how lucky we are in this great country of ours!